What Parents Should Teach their Children (Before They Leave Home)
When I was eleven, my father divorced my mother and moved thousands of miles away. We had little contact and I had to learn to be on my own. My mother worked nights at the post office and slept days. Consequently, I ended up doing the shopping and some of the cooking. It was a tough life, but we managed. I learned to repair just about anything because we couldn’t afford a service call. My mother died when I was 22, just after I graduated from college. But I had survived and, in later years, this accumulated knowledge would come in handy. I wished I had a mentor or older person to have learned from, but what choice did I have?
Since then, I’ve raised a daughter and wondered how things can be different for her. I have the opportunity to pass on my vast experience in many areas that she should benefit from. She’s a senior in college and living on her own. I go over to her townhouse and do minor repairs and offer advice when she asks. But, I am concerned about this upcoming generation how they will cope. Of course every generation has the same fears, but I have the power to impact her life.
There are numerous areas of which she needs to be acquainted. Obvious, the first and foremost is finances. Growing up, I had no clue about simple checking accounts. Nowadays, it’s even worse than that. There are equity lines, savings, money market accounts, overdraft protection, online statements, credit reserve, and much more. I didn’t have a credit card until I was older, but now we have credit cards with frequently flyer miles, transfers between credit and checking accounts, minimum payments, credit extensions and so forth. Because she has a condo in her name, we deal with a mortgage, property taxes, association fees and insurance. She has to know all of these financial terms and how the system works.
Speaking of insurance, she has a car and auto insurance. But, although she’s covered under my plan, she’ll have to understand health insurance along with major medical and prescriptions. Then there’s dental, eye care, and life insurance. The latter includes knowing the difference between term, whole life, and annuities.
She works part-time, but eventually, in the real work place, has to deal with disability insurance, 401K’s and pension plans. Of course she needs to know how to find a job, what it pays and what to expect as an employee.
As a homeowner, she needs to know about home equity and how to shop for another home. In other words, the wonderful world of real estate. That includes commissions, closings, titles, deeds of trusts, and escrow accounts. Add in comps, square footage, the importance of location and structural concerns. She’ll be paying for utilities like power, water, phone, and cable, which she needs to comprehend. Furnishing the home is a whole other topic.
If she were renting, there are other elements such as: security deposits, lease agreements, monthly payments, what utilities are included, whether they take pets, who does the maintenance and when to contact them, renter’s insurance, and parking information.
She’s healthy now, but she should know about proper nutrition, vitamins, exercise, and when to call a doctor. Also, how to handle a medical emergency, going to the hospital or clinic. and how often to get a regular exam. This would relate to female issues, the dentist and the eye doctor.
She goes to the store, but I wonder if she knows how to really shop for bargains? So, we should teach her how and when, to buy generic, use coupons, sale papers, and in-store specials. Also, what and how long, things last in the pantry or refrigerator.
I mentioned she has a car, but does she know how to shop for a new one? There are so many different makes and models, with a variety of features, mileage, and safety ratings. Don’t forget financing or leasing payments, and insurance. Also, when do you go with private party sales or dealerships. Then we have warranties and titles. Next, there’s maintenance with scheduled oil changes, tires, brakes, and where to go if there’s a major repair. Finally, if she gets into an accident, what do first, second and so forth. It’s a big learning curve.
I could list other essentials from computers and the Internet, to guarding personal information and setting up a home filing system of some type to store valuable records and documents. But, by now, you can put together your own list of essential information. The idea of sending your child into this complicated world without this knowledge is scary and unfair, at best. Arm them with what they need to aid their self-confidence and give yourself some piece of mind. And then tell them to be careful, it’s a jungle out there.
Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree from Monmouth University. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix," available at amazon.com. His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages." Currently, he is the Marketing Director for thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.
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